Dear Valentine’s Day: I Hate You! How to Get Through Valentine’s Day As A Single Person
You know the feeling…. When you walk in the store and you see the red heart shaped boxes of candy, the fluffy teddy bears, the roses, and the cards. It may as well be in big bold letters – it’s Valentine’s Day! Everyone appears to be happy with their significant other and has plans for a romantic evening or weekend getaway. Everyone is happy, smiling, and in love. Everyone, but you. You want to hide out in your house, and maybe you even have the evil thought of kicking the fluffy white teddy bear in Walgreens. All of these things are a reminder that you are single on Valentine’s Day. The last thing you want to see is a happy smiling couple, because it’s a reminder that they are something that you are not – attached, booed up, a couple, in love, married, or maybe even happy. You have never even had a Valentine. While your initial impression of Valentine’s Day is one of misery and avoidance, there several things that you can do which will make February 14 more enjoyable, and help you get through Valentine’s Day while being single.
1. Show yourself some love. The best way that we can show up and be present on days like Valentine’s Day is to show ourselves some love. You are a worthy, lovable, and fantastic person. Who knows that better than you? Pampering and complimenting yourself should be a ritual that you engage in regularly. Engaging in hobbies that you love, doing something adventurous that you haven’t tried before, or going out with friends are just a few things that you can do to indulge yourself. If you want to kick things up a notch, go ahead and get yourself some candy and that fluffy teddy bear from Walgreen’s!
2. Show love to others in your life. Remember that even if you don’t have that special one, there are other people in your life that you can show a little love to in your life. Bringing your coworkers homemade cupcakes with fun little Valentine’s Day cards or going out for a fun lunch with your girlfriends are some ideas to show other’s in your life some appreciation.
3. Show gratitude for things that you do have. Showing gratitude is a great practice to engage in daily. Being appreciative for people and things in your life is a wonderful way to focus on the positive. You are less likely to focus on things that you don’t have if you regularly engage in focusing on the positive in your life.
4. Observe couples that are in love. It may be challenging to observe a happy couple, especially if you just got out of a relationship, or if you just find it difficult to be around happy loving couples. However, there is something to be learned from observing from watching couples that are happy and in love; especially if that’s what you want in your life. Take notice of how happy couples are talking to each other, touching each other, and interacting with each other. Make mental and physical notes of their interactions, the vibes that they give off, and how they respond to each other’s cues. Thus, when you find that special someone, you can make sure to incorporate these special touches in your life.
5. Reflect. Think about what love means to you. Do you have a clear understanding of what love is? It is such a small word with a big meaning. So many people use the word, but don’t have a clear understanding of what it means to them. Engage in thought on a deeper level and explore with yourself whether or not your ideas of love are present in your relationships, including the one that you have with yourself. If love is lacking, then I would encourage you to seek the support of a professional that can help you to explore and rediscover love.
While these tips are not meant to be all inclusive, they are a great start to help you learn to enjoy all days – not just commercialized holidays like Valentine’s Day. If you need additional help and support rediscovering your inner happiness so that you can find love, please contact me to see how I can help.
Disclaimer: This blog post is not a diagnostic tool, nor is it meant to be used in place of treatment with a licensed clinician. This blog is for educational and informational purposes. If you are interested in learning how to cope with feeling a lack of love or dissatisfaction in your relationships, please email me at [email protected] to set up a consultation for counseling services.
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© 2017 Dr. Natalie Jones, PsyD, LPCC